Low Esteem

This incident took place about eleven years ago in my life and I remember it so often in order to understand the psyche of my fellow mate, 'Subbu'. I try to go into his shoes to think how I would have tackled my low esteem. Now I decided to blog it.

I and Subbu were sharing a good relation. I never realised when his small deeds started irritating me and I started avoiding. Our frequency of meeting fell down from six to two meets in a weeks time. I tried to entertain his each and every call but I was unable to realise when did I hurted him for which he developed lot of hate for me. May be his expectatrions were too high from me.

This happened when after a lot of avoidance one day my heart slightly melts when Subbu asked me to accompany for a lunch along with his girlfriend. Though in the days when we enjoyed good relationship with each other he use to discuss a lot about his GF “Shelly”. For this strange offer of unexpected lunch I hesitantly agreed to grace with my presence, this adventure. I was slightly curious for the meet them and on my way to them was thinking to share my jokes on their funny early clashes.

Finally the day came, the lunch was ventured at a expensive posh restaurant of the town, I was totally free that day and when I reached there I found him waiting me near the restaurant entrance in that wintry afternoon. He greeted me with warm gesture. I asked him surprisingly, “Where is Shelly!' She'll be joining us soon, he welcomed me by holding my arm with a drag.

We moved to the upper story of the restaurant and gossiped a little with the sips of lukewarm water. After ten minutes or so when I find that Shelly didn't joined us I put forward my concern and said, "May be she is stuck with some problem" My slight intent was or may be we can order some light starters. Before I could utter any thing suddenly Subbu roused from his place and begged my pardon to go to the wash room. I smilingly nodded and was busy peeping on to my next table a beautiful foreigner couple.

Up to next ten minutes I didn't realised of anything, after some time when the waiter approached me after once making him stay back for the reason I was waiting for my guests (hosts). I got up from my table and moved towards the wash room. After a thorough check up when I made sure that he is not there, I tried convincing myself as if he had just gone to check the status of Shelly out and he might be feeling awkward in front of me. Thinking all this I walked back to my table but then suspiciously I went t the entrance and checked outside. After two to four minutes I was able to make it out that he has left me all alone.

After this incident we never tried to see each other. Though I was not able to conclude anything concrete out of it. Only I can say, may be i hurted him somewhere due to my some superiority complexes, he did this to let me down in his own way. For me it was his best shot to save his Downfallen Poor Esteem.